Conversations buzz around who to follow on Social Media. For educators, that can mean one thing and for other professions, it means another. For those simply socializing, an entirely different perspective is taken. For teenagers, yet another. But the more I think about it, if there is anything in life worth following, it is happiness.
Happiness is “the state of being happy.” To be content, pleased, and satisfied. So how is it that so many of us struggle at times to find it? Are we searching for what others have by comparison? Are we searching for an unknown? Have we forgotten what makes us tick? Did we lose ourselves among our responsibilities and obligations? Did we forget what simple joys look and feel like? To know, and appreciate this state of mind, I myself lean into 4 Rs… I must Reflect, Reset, Restore, and Recreate.
Reflection is the key foundation to my success in happiness. It is the time that I take to look at where I have been, where I have “traveled” so to speak, what worked, what didn’t, where I went wrong, and hopefully what I got right. It helps me to stop and create meaning around my choices. Let’s face it, they were my choices for the most part. Whether it was an idea, initiative, or my reaction to someone else’s, it was my choice. Note: for some reflecting may not happen until the very end. Some may need to plan backwards to finally reflect for meaning.
We may think that the logical meaning to reset is to “set again”, but the gift of resetting is that we can do it differently the next time around, which ultimately can lead us to happiness. If that reset button means that I can say no with confidence and without a follow up reason/excuse than I get to make that choice and change. If by hitting that reset button I remind myself that my growth is dependent on the value of how I am saying yes, than that too becomes a major factor in the difference I am looking at for my next chance and opportunity. I am in control of my happiness and resetting my mindset by following up with different choices becomes clearer.
Restoration is key to the longevity of one’s self. We are not made to take on the world without time to restore our physical and mental well-being. Might I add, this should be done without apology. If we think otherwise, we are failing ourselves and the lives we impact. To restore, we must each find what works for us. Some may simply need a little escape from the pressures that come with life. Others may need to rethink their outside commitments and even pull back on some to restore their commitment to themselves. The important thing to remember is that if we want to accelerate, to truly push ourselves forward into betterment, restoration must exist. The question is, how might that happen for you?
Five Steps to Restoration
- Try being alone. For some, that is difficult and for others it is die-hard me time. Alone time is your time. Your choice. Your voice. Make time for you!
- Open your eyes to what is around you. Find the good. Something that speaks to you. Find that sense of joy right there in the midst of your chaos. It is there… look!
- Not to overdue the obvious, but exercise. I can’t jog anymore due to surgery years ago on my leg, but I can take a bike ride, a power walk, even a little skip counting with a jump rope. Figure out what you can do and match that up with what you love to do and the power of restoration is moving ahead. Note: I love to dance and last weekend when I was at a wedding, it reminded me of just how much. The joy, the freedom and the smile that engulfed my face reminded everyone around me of how happiness was right there within my reach.
- Never underestimate the power of therapy. We were not made imperfect by mistake or accident. Think about that for a minute. In addition, we each made a choice to venture into our own expertise. So why not embrace the expert? The one that has devoted time and attention to their field. Friends are fabulous soundboards and closely coveted experts on our own lives, but therapist are unique to their profession of human understanding. Did you know they are required by law to have their own therapist due to the impact of their profession? So why is it we as educators, spouses, friends, parents, think that we have to navigate life all on our own? My betterment is dependent on knowing when I am maxed out. Part of restoring that balance in myself is by seeing a therapist that in turn helps me to reset what doesn’t always happen through an isolated perspective of my own.
- Grace is a gift and one that we must have on others and ourselves. Do not take it lightly, but hold on to it and feel the immense impact of it. Then, when you see that others are in need, give it away. Have grace.
Time to set a goal! Now, write it down… in PEN or even permanent marker! Commit yourself to YOU! In order to achieve this goal you will need a plan. Part of that plan will be to practice, just like anything else we do to be better… we must form better habits. “Readjust.” “Swing the bat differently.” YOU ARE WORTH IT! Now, find your people or person. The one that will rally around you and remind you that you actually should come first in order to be your best for others. Reality check… do you really think that you are your best for others when you are spent to the core? Come on, now! Let’s get real! It’s the whole oxygen ask moment… put yours on first in order to help others! Last, print out a 2 week calendar or put a remind in your phone, but you need to check in and cross off when you have accomplished a step in your recreation.
You Got This! I Believe In You! I am Your Fan In the Stand! Follow YOUR Happiness!
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”Maya Angelou